is it better to be mysterious after a breakup

Your life is yours to live and improve, you dont need a toxic partner to help you out. If youre able to achieve closure with your ex after an appropriate time of no contact, it will result in a more holistic healing process. Your love interest is attracted to your mysterious demeanor, and creativity is a sign of a confident, mysterious person. I stayed mystery after my breakup not because I knew that mystery is good because it creates curiosity and regains some respect, but I just needed time off from everything. This means that you not only dont meet or come face-to-face with your ex but also dont talk to them, text them or engage with them on social media. For example, if you used to post once in a blue moon, posting tons of happy pictures all of a sudden wouldnt make any sense. Is it better to be mysterious after a breakup - Magnet of Success I doubt it, I truly think that if she wanted me back, she would break that promise, but i think it didnt help saying that. In other words, it wasn't the uncertainty per se that made the men attractive, but the thoughts it induced. Americans are getting married later in life; the top reason they give is finally finding their soulmate. I then decided to switch our stuff and then went NC. You mustnt continue to say or do things that would let your ex interpret your behavior wrongly. While in public, try to keep a calm, cool demeanor even if youre extremely happy or sad so nobody can guess what youre really feeling. She is still single. Erin Whitchurch and her colleagues conducted a study of 47 female undergraduates to find out. As someone who has been in the eye of the storm of abusive, toxic relationships before discovering what love in its healthiest form feels like and navigating mental health issues like PTSD and GAD, learning to connect the dots between emotions, behavior patterns, adult relationships and childhood experiences has been a fascinating journey. Your likes, dislikes, activities, followers, all that. When one person decides to pull the plug on a relationship, the equation can not remain amicable. You want sex all the time. When talking to someone even if theyre your ex feels good, people tend to keep going back for more. (in press). Thats when they normally stop feeling guilty and delete their ex. But as the researchers point out, the study still has real-world implications. VICE has written about how to behave on social media in the wake of a breakup before. Whenever I so much as suggested discussing the future, Jason would become withdrawn and stop communicating. You may grapple with the crippling pain of a heartbreak, but by not giving your ex a chance to show their indifference to your pain, you can avoid adding insult to injury. Do the Relationship Secrets That You Keep Ever Get to You? With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. It just makes spectators out of us. Hope takes time to get rid of. It can be inspiring. But if they found social media more draining than energizing, shed suggest they take a look at why its bumming them out so muchand make sure that deactivating wont make them experience even more FOMO. In my opinion she wasnt sure about the breakup but i couldnt take the uncertainty anymore. When all you want is one more glimpse of your ex, a chance to hold them and hear their voice one last time, silence is powerful may be the last thing you want to hear. How Soon Is Too Soon To Date After A Breakup? The quest for answers can make your ex realize your value in their life. Once it gets to a point where it doesnt make too much of a difference to you, the power of silence after a breakup will help you with moving on smoothly. There is nothing more hurtful to someone than complete indifference. Forgive. But it was no monkeybranching or something like that. Its simply too tempting. One of the top undeniable signs he wants you to notice him is that he looks at you all the time. You can also plant a quiet, almost smirking smile on your face when people are talking as if you have some secret inside joke that no one else is aware of. Therefore, its better to not reveal all your cards and overwhelm your ex with information your ex quite frankly doesnt care about. I think that discreetness is underrated. When it comes to seduction, it seems one of the most potent forces is the allure of the unknown. Just because you can share everything with friends and post all the time, it doesnt mean you should. If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. Your ex may even start believing that you cannot function without them, and may start taking you for granted even more. By feels right, I dont mean that you should act on anxiety and try to get noticed by your ex and/or the people your ex associates with. After a breakup, people often experience personal growth that can help them in future relationships. Where are you? Make sure to stick to it. How mysterious should one stay? Do you think it's better to be - Quora Mystery makes dumpers think about their dumpee from time to time and encourages them to get back in touch with them. The power of no contact and silent treatment is that it gives you time to reflect. Is it better to water lawn longer or more often? Her feelings didnt grow, meaning, they decreased. Is it better to be mysterious after a breakup. They should post for themselves and nothing that could hurt them later. The highly sensitive personality can be both a blessing and a curse. This is a big step toward realizing that you dont need another person to make you whole. 6 Tips On Being Mysterious In A Relationship On the other hand, by maintaining no contact and absolute silence you can convey your indifference and neutrality more effectively. Without the social media signpost to give people an approximation of your daily life (Oh, cool, coffee), you could be doing anything you may know youre simply lying in bed and crying a lot, but in your exs imagination, you are doing peyote in the desert and seeing God. From going silent on social media after a breakup to eliminating contact through texts, phone calls, and of course, in-person meetings is the only way to work through the mish-mash of emotions youre experiencing. Why havent you called? When receiving clear signals of interest from another person, a person is momentarily pleased, adapts quickly, and the case is closed. Something I can use to reverse engineer an explanation for where we went wrong? They want to know whether they should stay in their ex's life or disappear altogether. We used to go on walks outside. how to behave on social media in the wake of a breakup, an article for Mediums P.S. On the other hand, when you just go off the radar completely, your ability to handle a breakup well speaks for itself. "It helped very much! Its also just practical. My answer is that you have to be bit of both. When youre in a relationship with someone, your life invariably becomes intertwined with theirs. complete answer on arcadiancounseling.com, View This is one of the most well-known principles of seduction. Is It Better To Be Mysterious After A Breakup? How much Social Security will I get if I make 100k a year? What would happen if the T. rex came back? ", https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/rediscovering-love/201105/speaking-you-think-foot-in-mouth-syndrome-in-committed-relationships, https://positivepsychology.com/active-listening/, https://positivepsychology.com/self-image/, https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/embrace-your-inner-eccentric/, https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/ulterior-motives/200811/unpredictability-is-in-our-nature, https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201601/9-ways-you-keep-your-personal-power, https://positivepsychology.com/build-trust/. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. When you employ radio silence after a fight or a breakup, you get time to introspect, and see what your strengths and weaknesses are. Just take things one step at a time, and see where the path leads you. Once the women get to know the mysterious men better, the seductive spell may well have worn off. How to Identify Narcissism Within Yourself, Why So Many Struggle to Find and Keep a Partner, How to Date Someone Who Is Seeing Other People, The Destructive Fantasy of Finding a Soulmate, Why Physical Attraction Matters, and When It Might Not, The Best Way to Communicate Disinterest on a Dating App. However, starting over a relationship isnt a decision that should be made lightly. I know its hard, but as long as shes doing her own things, shes not interested in getting back together, and must be avoided. June 27, 2021 Just because two people have broken up doesn't mean they've both made their peace with it and moved on. As a small thank you, wed like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). I had just started college and was always the obnoxious kid who always tries to make people. They dont want to see and think about someone they left because doing so could result in feelings of guilt, anger, disgust or even sadness and self-blame if they were depressed. Can I marry my father's sister's daughter? Once the women get to know the mysterious men better, the seductive spell may well have worn off. Maybe they were not the right person for you. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. They just have to know their pre-breakup posting habits and compare those habits to the habits they exhibit after the breakup. all about love and couple relationships in their varied forms. When writer Hannah Victoria made her case for deleting Instagram after a breakup in an article for Mediums P.S. Posting on social media shouldnt be a sin what ever it is as long as my posts are not about her and the past. To drive home the importance of silence after a breakup, let us lead with one of the most popular quotes on the power of silence by writer Elbert Hubbard, He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words. This pretty much sums up why the silent treatment after a breakup works wonders. They were married a long time but he treated her very bad the last years of their marriage. One thing is certain, both women and men respond to silence and distance with greater curiosity and interest in an ex than they do to constant overtures of going back to the way things were. This suggestion comes with a pretty big caveat: If social media is providing you with a genuine sense of connection and comfort in a time of grief, no need to unplug. Some dumpees wonder if it's better to be mysterious after a breakup than it is to post on social media and let their ex see and hear what's going on with them. In some cases, it stems from unmet needs in a relationship. What you do is up to you because it comes down to preference, but if youre going to post, make sure your posts are unprovoking in nature and that theyre for you and your friends. Now she finally broke up. There is, of course, the risk that going completely dark on social media makes you look devastated. Difference Between Radio Silence And No Contact. Related Reading: The 7 Components Of Male Psychology During No-Contact Rule Backed By An Expert. No one cares that you just bought a new bicycle. Im 41 and my Ex-GF 40. Do yourself a favor and give yourself space to heal in private. Whether you want to get back together with an ex or snap the chord for good, you cannot overlook the importance of silence after a breakup in achieving that goal. Of course, its still possible to lurk on an ex even if youre technically off social media, but theres a difference between scrolling on mobile and accidentally seeing something, or even navigating to their profile once youre in the app and opening a web browser, searching for their profile on Google, and waiting for the page to load. Juhi says, Learning and self-improvement is a lifelong process. February 1, 2023by Zan Some dumpees wonder if it's better to be mysterious after a breakup than it is to post on social media and let their ex see and hear what's going on with them. If youve been asking yourself this question, know that moving on isnt the only scenario where silence is powerful. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. Eventually the person interprets these thoughts as a sign of liking and think, "Gee, I must really like this person if I can't stop thinking about him!" So i really didnt understand the breakup. % of people told us that this article helped them. So, how does radio silence after a breakup work in this scenario? A Novel and Efficient Way to Avoid Academic Burnout, The Relationship Between Nature and Body Image, Dance Is a Powerful Tool for Emotional and Physical Health, You Dont Have to Follow the Same Routines Forever, New Studies Prove the Brain Is Still a Mystery. Getting offline isnt a silver bullet in the hairy chest of heartbreak, but we already know its timeworn benefits: it may actually be the sleep-improving, mood-boosting, time-saving move that wellness influencers and tech CEOs claim it can be. Silence after being dumped keeps the dumper totally confused. One group was told that they would be seeing the four men who had given them the highest ratings (the "liked-most" condition). The real power of silence after a breakup is that it sets you free from your fears, inhibitions, and dependence on another person. Lets begin by looking at the radio silence meaning you go out of communication and are unreachable. Look into the person's eyes, smile for a second, and then look away coolly as if something else more interesting caught your attention. Once you get past step 2, it is safe to assume that youve reached a place where you can share a space and have a conversation with an ex without it bringing back all those post-breakup feelings. Is your impression correct? You probably still care what your ex thinks and feels, so sharing too much with your ex probably wont make you or your ex feel very good. If you're being mysterious to get a guy's interest, you might say something attention-provoking to him before walking away. The participants then rated their mood again, and also reported the extent to which thoughts about the men had "popped into their head" during the prior 15 minutes. (Whitchurch, Wilson, & Gilbert, in press). You cant really cut back on sugar when you keep talking about how good it tastes all the time, can you? Once youre confident that the no-contact period has served its purpose, you can resume limited contact with your ex. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/6\/68\/Be-Mysterious-Step-1.jpg\/v4-460px-Be-Mysterious-Step-1.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/6\/68\/Be-Mysterious-Step-1.jpg\/aid725891-v4-728px-Be-Mysterious-Step-1.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"